Dear Naproxen

You're awesome, did you know that? Like, really I have to tell you, you make my life so much easier, thank you so much, you're like a pill of numbness...

In a good way though, not like other numb drugs I've been on, you just, like, take away my knee pain, it's like you know where to go!... I mean, I know you know, it's just, it's so awesome. you're the guy.

Thank you, just.. Thank you.

Dear Bus That Takes Me Home From Work

HURRY THE FUCK UP AND STOP BEING LATE!!!

Much obliged.

Dear Books

I used to read you a lot, when I was younger, I read all kinds of books, novels, short stories, those Goosebumps ones with the alternative endings/plots altogether, man they were frustrating yet awesome. I also read a lot of those supernatural stories about pubescent teens when I was 14 or so, 'cause, y'know, I was all adult n' shit.

But after 16 or so I stopped, I went down the art route, read a few bits and pieces about various artists, Alfonse Mucha, Paula Rego, those types. Mostly though if I was to read something it was graphic novels, which to me have no less merit as literature, they fulfill my desire to take in art and enjoy fantasy and Science Fiction all in one convenient little package.

I do still read graphic novels, I would read more if I had the coin, but recently I was able to pick up a few Lovecraft, Wells and Akutagawa stories for very cheap (I've always been a fan of these three writers but had not read any stories in a long while) and much to my joy I have finished them all within a few days of buying them, which has not only spurred me on to read more but, through the best descriptive and imaginative writing I've read in a long time, moved me to start up my art again.

So I guess all I want to say is, thanks and if there is ever a battle to save the books, I'll be on the front lines dude, I got your back.

Dear Financial Stability

I've heard about you, heard tales your wonder and the happiness you spread.... To those who seemingly do not deserve it...

I have a stable job, with the MOD, I work hard and I try to keep tabs on my spending, I don't treat myself and I treat my daughter far less often then I'd like, so why do you still elude me?

I know in this day and age (and specifically under our current "government", if you can call a rabble of upper class bastards a government) you are becoming more of a recluse with each passing day.

But if I may, I have one question, why am I and so many others like me, struggling so very much. When people like, say, the father who abandoned his daughter and has not even asked about her since before her birthday (last year), has so much disposable income, that he can easily afford to give up a good chunk each month (more than I have to pay for rent in fact)and waste the rest of it on getting drunk every night he can...?

Just curious.

-Jewbee.

Dear Universe

On behalf of myself and a few close friends, I wish to reiterate several of my previous letters to you, which in short can be summarised to 'Fuck. You.'

That is all

Dear Duvet

Well, what can I say?

You are the lord of all that is snugglesome and warm. You were my guardian and protector when I was young, shielding me from even the most ferocious monstrosities I could think up in my tiny, youthful mind. You give me cuddles when I have no company in my bed. You are the king of comfort and the duke of dozing.

Thank you my dearest and comfiest friend, never stop being what you are.

All my cuddles, Jewbee.

Dear David Kirschner

Man, you're the guy.

You made my childhood awesome, watching your films and TV shows are amongst my most treasured memories.

Your films were responsible for many of the imaginings of my youth and many more of my adult life. Without your influences I doubt I'd be as creative as I am today.

And I cannot wait to share those beautiful films with my daughter.

Many sincere thanks.